nvamindme

nvamindme @ 2008-02-24T18:11:00

2008-02-24T23:15:55Z

I was so happy. In the beginning of the school year I was having such a good time. I was socializing, I had a job and could buy stuff I wanted without feeling guilty, I was finally able to find someone I cared a lot about and felt cared for back.

But now it's all gone and I don't know how to get it back. Even just being able to hang out with people and not feel awkward or like I don't belong. Maybe I could before everyone leaves me for college.

Maybe.

nvamindme @ 2008-01-06T12:17:00

2008-01-06T17:18:31Z

Life isn't fucking fair.

Just ONE normal relationship, please? Is that seriously too much to ask for?

nvamindme @ 2007-12-29T22:51:00

2007-12-30T03:52:33Z

I can make a beautiful grilled cheese.

As for the boy. I dunno, I'm just super paranoid and I just kinda need him to prove he can be there for me.

nvamindme @ 2007-12-21T20:18:00

2007-12-22T01:21:29Z

I guess I am pretty much a wreck. I am fine but that's kind of because I am able to push down everything going on in my mind. Not sure how long that is gonna last but hey, it's working right now. And I'm happy right now. Well sort of :/

I think this is, though, the first Christmas I have started out with the whole family being more upbeat. The one thing is basically done with, it's over, gone, we don't have anything to freak out about anymore and you can't even imagine how fucking GOOD that feels. Just... yeah. :D

I kind of have my heart in a mess. It's being tugged in so many ways. It pretty much sucks and I don't know what to do :P I just suck at this kind of shit, not my thing or area at all. Oh well. We all have to learn sometime I guess.

nvamindme @ 2007-11-19T18:39:00

2007-11-19T23:41:34Z

We just kinda click. 2 peas in a pod.

But I wanna know where this is gonna lead. I wish I could see in the future :( I want to know where I should be headed and what I am doing wrong now and what is going right.
Fuck. Just, I wish.

nvamindme @ 2007-11-04T21:11:00

2007-11-05T02:19:02Z

So all my wishes and dreams and prayers actually having started showing me they can come true. Only problem is there is a 6 year difference between us. It doesn't stop us from always hanging out but every now and then my dad decides to put his foot down because it does sound kind of weird, a 16 y/o girl hanging out with a 22 y/o guy... But I love it because we can talk about everything, I tell him my shit and he tells me his and he doesn't talk to too many people about his shit. But the thing that really has me sooooo happy is the fact that it's like we're friends and there is no sex or kissing or keeping it secret between us. It's a fan-fucking-tastic feeling, I don't have to worry about it because he doesn't want it.

Gawd, I have waited so long to have this kind of friendship with someone, of course besides my besties, and just AHHHH it's fucking AWESOME!

nvamindme @ 2007-10-04T21:30:00

2007-10-05T01:46:52Z

Haha, I am so bad at everything it's pathetic.

Know anything about the controversial presidential election of 1928 Hoover (R) against Smith (D) because I don't. And I have a 3-5 page paper due in like 2 weeks on it.

I need to get out more. Or get a life, whichever comes first.
BTW I think I might be getting carpultunnel (spelled 100% wrong, I know) syndrome sometime in my lifetime cuz my arm tends to feel like it is about to fall off at the end of the day. Which could potentially be bad.

Oh yeahhhh, I have a plan for my life. College for free plus a job. Anddd a place I can use what I am learning. Good deal?

Hmm, I can't think of anything else to write.

nvamindme @ 2007-10-03T22:25:00

2007-10-04T02:29:32Z

I get wayyyyy too involved. Political-ness leads to my emotions going all out of whack. PMS doesn't help either.

I just want to know why no one wants to say the Pledge of Allegiance anymore. I seriously think it is because people are too lazy because they say it to my face. And that is serious disrespect. Yes, in my mind.

So when I ask why you don't say it (over myspace), it doesn't mean post 100,000 bulletins to say "Shut the fuck up" in response. It means reply to ME. Or post a god damn comment to what I wrote. I really do want to know why. I want valid points.
What I am doing is called fighting, getting involved, something half the kids don't know about doing at our school and 3/4ths do without emotion, when they do get involved it seems to be more because they have to to get into college or their parents make them. Why am I the only one?

This pledge shit also includes fucking teachers not saying it by the way.

CLUE ME IN!

nvamindme @ 2007-10-02T16:18:00

2007-10-02T20:18:06Z

Fuckin fuck fuck fuck.

Fuck

I hate math right now because it is really confusing and I know I am not the only one confused but no one else fucking speaks up, I hate Bockol right now because he is so closed minded and the rest of Middletown (well almost) because they too don't open their eyes and see the big picture. WHAT THE FUCK is gonna happen when we suddenly start withdrawling troops left and right in one year like all these fucking presidential candidates want to do? Hmm? Bring the terrorists and shit here to kill our innocent children? That's essentially what it is gonna come down to. Think about it, it isn't about oil, it isn't about gaining political power, it's about people fucking dieing. GOD DAMN IT

And the fucking court case is in 3 weeks. I am scared to death but it isn't even me. You have no idea what this is like, let me tell you. This isn't a speeding ticket court case, this is pretty much a felony charge. FUCK. At least I have found someone who is honest yet comforting at the same time sort of. Gahh. FUCK.

Yeah.

Oh and another thing that bothers me, those of you who say I HATE BUSH WITH A PASSION but don't have ANY FUCKING FACTS TO BACK YOUR MOTHER FUCKING ASS UP WITH. I don't care if you dislike our president, you can protest if you want though I don't encourage it because think about what it is doing to our troops and everyone else al over the world. But the second you tell me you hate so and so but decline to answer when I ask why, or provide better answers then "Because we shouldn't be in Iraq." BULL FUCKING SHIT. This is our president that we are talking about, the leader or our free world, the person representing America for his whole 4 year term. Representing YOU. So bashing him is only making yourself look like a fool in other country's eyes PLUS the fact that you are simply disrespecting your country. He is the fucking PRESIDENT. And news flash: HILARY CLINTON ISN'T GOING TO GET US OUT OF THE FUCKING WAR. If she pulls our troops out all she will doing is bringing the damn war here, to your house, to your parents, to you. Now, would you prefer to keep it over seas away from home or do you really think it is so wrong that we should bring it here to where we live and call home.

BTW if you aren't saying the Pledge of Allegiance in the morning, there better be a well argued excuse for it. "I don't feel like it" isn't an excuse and it being the morning isn't an excuse. I can tell you right now that you are not THAT against God to say that one little word that inspired this nation, the place you live, the reason you can bash the president and say anything you would like (our nation is the reason...). Just because MTV thinks they are cool telling kids our age to stand up and fight everything imaginable going on doesn't mean it is right.

Yeah. Thanks... I am done for now.

nvamindme @ 2007-07-18T15:20:00

2007-07-18T19:21:10Z

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

I have never been more scared in my life.

nvamindme @ 2007-06-17T10:55:00

2007-06-17T15:01:56Z

So as you can tell, I don't update much. I primarily use my LJ for looking at friend's journals. Although I am still open about updating or using this every now and then.

Since I'm here though I suppose I could write a little bit.

Recital was a week ago and it was pretty good. Doesn't beat Time Warp but I was still dancing and that's okay. Nod Your Head was my favorite though. Lots of other people but it was still fun.
School ended last Thursday. Everything just seems to be happening and it doesn't feel like schools out, dance is over, and I am almost done school. It's crazy. Friday Casey, Mel, and I went to the movie in the park. Had a delicious time there aha. But yeah, had a good time, didn't get to finish my Flavor Blast Goldfish >:O Oh well. Before we went toe the movie though, Kayla, Jason, Casey, Mel, G-ma, and I all went back into Glenbrook and walked around. Found a little playset that I think we will often be visiting this summer. Unless I find a job (hopefully cuz I need moneyyyyyy).

And that's about it. Nothing is happening until July anyways so maybe the rest of June I will find some healthy-ness and something to do on a daily basis ahaha.

nvamindme @ 2007-04-29T13:31:00

2007-04-29T17:38:51Z

Wellll. After 2 weeks of drivers ed, a huge ass essay (huge meaning 5 pages with tons of non-plagerizing documentaion), and other stuff I think this week will be a little slower (hopefully).

Friday I donated blood. I almost passed out :D. The lady was taking out the needle and doing other stuff when I like couldn't hear or see. She had later told me that I went really pale :P Eh, all in a day's work. The rest of the day I got a little light-headed every now and then but was pretty much fine. I loved the questions they asked though!!! It was pretty amusing.

Recital is coming up quick! I can finally attend the Nod Your Head rehersals in full after only being able to go to the last 2 for half an hour. My apprentice class is finished too. It's really cute! The costume is a dress with sequenes all over and I can't wait to watch them :DD

Hmm. Creamery went swell yesterday. I loveeeeeee the chocolate milk. I got to cut up cheese for the festival next weekend. YOU ALL SHOULD COME!!! Dunno where I will be though. Hopefully working somewheres with my Pika! I hope Casey can come for awhile too. I think she would like all the kittens that run around.

That's about it for me. I lead a relatively boring life that is rather uneventful. It's getting warmer out and I am getting all that much more excited for summer and warm weather 24/7. Maybe Mel, Jess, Pika, and I can all sleep in Jessica's camper sometime! That'd be greatttttt!!!! Until then I am going to gourge myself with food.

nvamindme @ 2007-03-25T20:51:00

2007-03-26T00:55:57Z

I am sick sick sick of drama.

Grandma went to the hospital Wednesday night. She complained about her stomach hurting and not being able to go to the bathroom. Ended up that there was a blockage in her bowels from scar tissue and adhesions or something. She had a tube in her nose to drain it and it was finally taken out today :D She should be coming home sometime in the next few days.

Mom and Dad also got new phones. Dad's phone disappeared Friday and freaked us out cuz we had no idea how to deal with the situation. Got it back today though.

Grandma and Poppy's van broke down. Apperently its a complicate process to get it fixed but Dad can do it when he has time.

Things have finally started turning around and I am on the edge of my seat waiting for that 2nd bump in the road to send me fleeing for cover because I know its ahead, I just don't know how bad its going to be and when. I sincerly hope this next week will be better.

nvamindme @ 2007-03-15T14:46:00

2007-03-15T18:48:28Z

:P Tomorrow is my birthday and its cold again. I hope I have a good day tomorrow.

Currently my cat is freaking out and literally bouncing off the walls every 5 minutes. She is such a spaz. Gosh, this is intense xDDD

Yeyyyy for Charlie and the Candy Moutain!

nvamindme @ 2007-03-13T16:46:00

2007-03-13T21:10:04Z

It is soooo beautiful outside! Yesterday I walked to dance and finally appreciated it. At dance we added a whole bunch onto the jazz dance and I began learning Nod Your Head for A.G. Tap which I think will finally be a challenging tap dance for me- something I might finally get after 2 years of what feels like beginner classes for other people.

Today I got home and took Casey outside to ride bikes and whatnot. Pretty cool. I have a good sized load of homework I should get on so that I am not up until 11 again because I am falling asleep in school which is uber annoying. Basically I cannot wait for this weather to be warm all the time.

Friday is my birthdayyyy. I am hoping it isn't like my others because that would be boring. And I mean come on, its my 16th. But I have this just sneaking suspicion that its going to be just as stupid as all my other ones. :P

asjdfhjsh :DDDD I'm excited about dancing thoughhhhh!@!

nvamindme @ 2007-03-06T16:03:00

2007-03-06T21:05:29Z

Gabe died last night while I was sleeping :( After having him for 9 months I am sad because he was the first fish I had ever had and my first only mine type pet I didn't have to share.

Stupid black cat. I have been pissed at her all week for hurting Gabe.

nvamindme @ 2007-02-28T20:57:00

2007-03-01T02:10:23Z

Okay, okay so get this.

I had to babysit today for my neighbors. They are 2 boys and they do not like me for the most part. Only because I have fairly strict rules and I don't like seeing their little hamster and cats being treated so ridiculously bad. Well mostly the hamster. But the kitties probably weren't far behind. Anywho, I was really cracking down on them today and the youngest boy was uber mad at me cuz he was trying anything to rebel.

Oh well. Someone has to give them rules and make them respectable.

My other 11 year old neighbor came over and helped me out. GAHHH I was thankful for him coming over. Good thing he isn't as destructive as he used to be cuz he has reallyyyy grown up a lot.

So I came home and complained about it to my mom and tried to think of ways I could solve it. Ate some more food. Dunno what else happened and then I went upstairs.

I have been fish-sitting for my other neighbors across the street. This wasn't the first time cuz they go away every now and then for a few days. Nothing new. I was about to feed Swimery (the fish's name) and Grandma was in there. She asked how he was doing. I was looking in there trying to find him and he was missing. I didn't freak out until I lifted the plant thingy in the bowl and shook it and I couldn't find Swimery anywheres. Then I looked on the floor to a dark mushy looking thing that I had thought was just a furball from King.

It was actually Swimery. GREATTTT. Not only was I the worst babysitter to the boys earlier but I killed a 4 year old's fucking fish. Luckily they weren't as heartbroken as I would have been and were willing to still pay me for having fed him xDDD

I think he might have jumped out of the bowl and then the cats played with him because when I first got Gabe and researched them, I found out they can actually jump out of their bowl and I freaked out... But Swimery also hadn't been eating so that might have been part of the issue.

Just a word of advice, you probably don't want me to babysit your kids nor pet-sit your animals because they will end up not liking me and might even kill themselves.

nvamindme @ 2007-02-24T16:24:00

2007-02-24T21:25:15Z

Grandma. Pisses. Me. Off.

God help us, pleasee!

nvamindme @ 2007-02-23T21:50:00

2007-02-24T02:50:56Z

There is so much that I need to say but won't even admit to myself.

And it scares me. I am not sure what the truth is, when it comes to me, anymore.

nvamindme @ 2007-02-22T15:06:00

2007-02-22T20:08:56Z

The last few days our phone hasn't been working so I haven't been able to get on the stupid internet.

This guy who really likes me has been trying to get me to call him but I really don't like talking on my cell phone at all and obviously our home phone hasn't been working. Gawd. It pissed me off. I don't like him as more then a friend at all but he likes me and lk;sdfghsadflksd. Mess.

Also, my mom has decided to use my bank account for a website. It has taken more then $20 out of it and I have no idea if its going to keep taking money. The money I have completely worked for all on my own through various babysitting jobs. This is bullshit. I hate it when she does stuff like this without asking.

nvamindme @ 2007-02-19T18:28:00

2007-02-19T23:34:53Z

I am very slowly figuring this out...

Today has been an overall good day.

I don't know if it is really because of my "raging hormones" and teenage body but I argue a lot. I am just sick of everything :P

BUT back to my good day. Last day of our no school. Grandma and Poppy went to the doctors and were gone forever because of a fire and hostage thing happening in Frederick- at a liquor store. So Mel went to babysit and Travis(brother), Ryan (cousin), Patrick (neighbor), and I were all home. It was pretty fun lmfaoo. Mom and Dad were at work so we were alone. The boys pretty much played Guitar Hero. I didn't have Grandma nagging at me to do this and that and Casey had gone home. As much as I love her, I need a break now and then without little kids. I think we are dependent on each other but a break is def. necessary now and then. Anywho, I did the dishes and suggested to the boys to bring up the wheelchair we randomly have downstairs. So they did and we ran rampant through the house :D

We also got to run around Grandma's part anddd yell without getting in trouble.

God I love being home alone. I wish I had my own room too but being home alone is almost as good.

We are actually eating out tonight, something we rarely get to do. I am so glad Mel is babysitting tonight instead of me!!! I can't handle them all the time... Boys. Something I have given up on in many ways.

N00bie

2007-02-15T16:28:49Z

Gahhh, I do not know how to work this websiteeee!